Friday, January 30, 2004. I learnt that the trendy name for women like me is quirkyalones . These women are professionals, have good careers, own their own houses, and may have significant others but not really interested in marriage. They believe in waiting for the right partners to come along. They have many friends and are cool. They run around in "Urban Tribes." Use Google to find more about quikyalones and urban tribes.

Just came in from shoveling snow off the paths to my doors and steps. Too cold and my fingertips are frozen. Morale of the story: do not have too many doors to the outside when you live in a cold climate. I have two garage doors for my cars and a small door into the garage plus two stairways to my frontdoor. Too many places to shovel. This sounds like a life lesson to learn--do not have too many irons in the fire or too many projects to complete!

One of the most common soul-searching problems that young educated asian women go through is "what will I do when my children grow up?" I just listened to such a woman, and from comments I received from my colleagues, this woman must have talked to many of them! The story is common. A young asian woman is smart and did well during her primary and secondary schools, and even in college. Then she married a smart young man (of course, because she would not marry someone who is not her equal) and had children. Now she stays at home and looks after her children. In the meantime, her children do well at school and are getting smarter than her, her husband is making excellent progress at his career. Her cries are "What about me? What happens to my dreams? Can I return to school and catch up with my husband?"

Often I tell such women that dreams do not go away and can be accomplished. However, such dreams must take into consideration her husband and her children otherwise the price they pay will be too high. I tell such women that they should only plan for two or three years ahead--enough to get a graduate degree, and then at that point in their lives, they can plan further. Some of them came to me with dreams of completing a doctoral degree. That dream is wonderful but that is too far ahead into the future.

I began my first undergraduate class at the ripe old age of 38, a wife and a mother. I did not know that I wanted to be a professor at a university. Things happened and then my dreams changed and now here I am at a university! I am not sure that this is what I want to do forever although forever is now getting shorter and shorter (hehehehe...).

Jasmine is engaged to be married to Donnie. I was caught off guard when she told me but I realized that in the U.S. because she does not live with me, I am not aware of how close she and Donnie are. Now I feel better about it as every day passes and I reflect back on my own personal experiences. If Jas were living with me as I did with my parents, I would have met Donnie a long time ago. I would have met him every time he came to pick up Jas for a date. I also realize that both of them have their whole lives to live and so they have goals they can work towards. Their forever is much longer than my forever.

Thanks to Wena, now I can post to my blog again. She is such a sweet girl and always tell me, "don't worry, mom."

Hiya, still trying to cope with jet lag although it is nice to get up at 4:00 am and do things. However, by lunchtime, I am tired. Last Monday, my secretary called me at home to find out whether I was going into the office! Who is the boss, me or her? Her excuse is that she was worried about whether I had arrived home. That is a good one since I would have called her if my plane had been delayed.

I am going to try the Atkins diet although only a version of it because I put on 6 lbs while in Malaysia. Now I have to try and get rid of those irritating 6 lbs. Now 6 lbs sound easy but these small lbs are the worst. They are the most difficult and it is almost as though I would have to starve to lose them. So, I am going to try the Atkins and lose those pesky lbs and then get back on the Weight Watchers. However, the Atkins has many things similar to the WW because I am supposed to keep track of what I eat and also to exercise. I walk on the treadmill because it is convenient. I do it at home and do not have to drive somewhere else. Besides it is brrrr....cold outside right now. Also, my physical therapist told me that it would be better to walk on a treadmill than on uneven surfaces out on the road. Walking on the road is bad for my back.

I am still trying to learn how to upload pictures to my blog here. I used to be able to learn to do FTP so easily, but now I am always in such a hurry that I find it difficult (grrrr....). Too much violence in my life. hehehehe....

My baby girl is getting engaged! It is difficult to remember that she is a grown lady of 24 going on 25 and should be making her decisions now. I guess a child is always a child no matter how old that child is. I am trying very hard not to treat her like a kid any more. Ah yah! So hard, lah.

Having to deal with jet lag after traveling from Kuching, Malaysia to Saginaw, Michigan is no fun. Sleeping during the day and being awake at night makes life too difficult to deal with although I am glad that I will not have to deal with the office until Thursday. I will go in either late today or tomorrow. It snowed here last night and the road is icy. Even at 7:44 am, it is still dark outside. The temperature is currently 19 degrees F (-7 degrees C). Brrr.....

Having spent another two weeks in Kuching after my visit last November, I realize how living in another country changes one's perspective. I also come to realize how much my two daughters do not know about the Eurasian side of my growing up. In fact, my mother does not talk about that side of my father either. I suppose it all happened too long ago. Growing up and going to school in Malaysia, I remember having to check the "Other" box in response to the question of race. "Other" in Malaysia means Eurasian, Caucasian or any other ethnic race that is not indicated. When I was in Kuching this visit, I checked the phone book for Kuching to see how many "Holmes" there are. It was difficult to find out because phone listings are by either your Asian last name or first name if your last name is a western last name. I remember growing up in Borneo, when any letter addressed to "Holmes, Borneo" was delivered to our home. Unless I tell my daughers about Eurasians, they would not know about this part of my background; they would not know that their grandfather's propensity to look to the U.K. as his homeland. He would have been proud of the fact that Rowena received her degree from the University of Birmingham, U.K. One of these days, I will write more about this.